Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Every night possums haunt our backyard. We have at least four living under the porch. All night long they will clank through my cans, eat my garbage, woo my pregnant cat, and cause general disarray. Some might say,
"Jane, why don't you just throw away your garbage? Then the possums won't come over all the time."
and to them I say, we have no garbage pickup where I live. We have to burn all the paper waste and drive the rest of the trash to the dump...so garbage is on the back burner for awhile. I have better things to do and the garbage will continue to sit behind the cellar door where only the tiniest of possums can get into the stinky bags...the little ones aren't thaaat messy. And, to tell you the truth, I like being able to look out my bedroom window and see a clumsy possum knocking my stuff over. They remind me of me...loud, uncoordinated, messy, and opportunistic. I see myself in those little creatures... so they can live under my porch and eat my garbage, I don't care. At least if they're under my porch it'll be harder to hit them with my car.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
I knew it was going to happen sooner or later, things keep running in front of my car. Today a Virginia oppossum ran in front of my car and I hit the poor thing. I tried to swerve to miss him and nearly drove my car off the dirt road. But I clipped him.
I wanted to make sure he was dead so he didn't have to suffer further. I drove back to check. He was lying in the road, very still. Then he looked at me, wide-eyed. I could see blood was pouring out of him. He was alive and struggling to get to the side of the road. I didn't want him to suffer anymore, he could have lived like that for awhile...
So I backed up my car, took aim, and put him out of his misery. It was terrible and I feel horrible.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
My family came to visit me the other day. Here's what happened :
1. we shot pumpkins and made them explode.
2. we ate chinese food at the chinese place next to the adult xxx theatre in Ottumwa. I didn't eat the egg drop soup
3. we saw strippers taking a smoke break. how did we know they were strippers? fur coats, platform shows, and no pants, thats how.
4. we almost hit a raccon and a possum.
But my favorite event happened while we were driving to the gas station. As we were winding down the dirt road my mom said,
"Hey, guys, look at the sweet Brittaney on the side of the road! What is he doing there, the little scamp?"
The dog pops his head up to look at us while we drive by. His face is covered in blood. The dog sees us and promply shoves his head back into the abdomen of a deer carcass and continues to munch on deer chittlins (deer intestines).
(photo of the brittaney made possible by www.dailypuppy.com)
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
My love affair with the cow began in Canada when I met this happy little fellow. I had never seen a baby cow up close and personal until this very moment in 2005. It was at a winery that specialized in Ice Wines...ice wine is made from grapes that are allowed to freeze on the vine. The wine is very sweet and thick and, in my opinion, disgusting. The winery also specialized in petting zoos and had a variety of furry headed chickens, fly covered pigs, and a couple of scabby eared goats.
This baby cow said, "maaaaaaaa mooooooooo," and I was in love. I ran over to the calf and pet it's chin. The calf stretched out it's neck, I pretended to kiss it's face, and then this photograph was taken by one of my shit-head friends. Then we ate some sandwiches, fed a cat some potato chips, bought some shitty wine, and went on our merry way to Toronto.