Green River Fish Fossil. Knightia Eocaena

Entrance to the Rock Shop.  So Scary!

Beautiful stuff.

The fossil I purchased at the rock shop.

(Vacation was amazing.  Rachel and I had a wonderful adventure traveling across the United States.  The trip began in Boise, Idaho and ended in Davenport, Iowa at the worst hotel I've ever seen in my entire life.  So, yeah, a wonderful time was had by all and this week will be dedicated to vacation adventures.)

First adventure:  While trying to find a steak house in Evanston, Wyoming, Rachel and I came across a home with ceramic dinosaurs decorating their front lawn.  It was a rock shop called, Antares Fossils and Minerals (antaresfossils.com).  Of course we had to go in, I love me some rock shop.  While paroozing the various sections of the shop I came across this beauty from the Green River Fossil Biota.  The owner of the shop told us that he uncovered the fossil himself at his Green River quarry.  The owner and his crew uncover 30 (each) or more of these Fish fossils every weekend. The quarry is home to possibly the best fossil record of tertiary aquatic communities (of the Eocene, 55 million years ago!) in the world! 

Of course I had to buy one.

It is the day of my birth. My birthday, if you will.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fxmX230bzc&feature=related

1. Victoria surprised me with a whole batch of melted snowman cookies as a birthday present! Such a treat. Victoria also introduced me to a new word awhile ago. In Chicago, we'll call a sprinkle a "sprinkle"...in Phili they call them "jimmies". These snowmen have marshmallow heads and jimmies for noses. What a great birthday present! I won't even tell you guys what everyone did to my desk to celebrate. Let's just say I filled up a whole garbage can with packing peanuts by the time I was done cleaning up. Thanks guys!
2. On Saturday a group of us went to Zombie Burger to celebrate my 29th. We had a damn fine time...except for the snotty bartender that made me feel like a dummy. I ordered a "redneck" burger. What was on that?: bologna patte, chicken friend bacon, mayo, and I can't remember the rest because I stroked out before I was done eating it. So much fun.
3. here is my birthday horoscope and the surprise 50 dollar bill my mom sent to me today. She hid it inside of a new sketchbook. I'm a lucky girl.

4. Here's a photo of me, kyle, and two girls from Fong's pizza. We went there on Saturday to try a kamikaze shot...they make you wear the helmets, not my choice. The nice woman on the right offered to take our photo and I told her I had no camera. She whipped out her cell phone, sent me the photos to my gmail, and saved the day. Smart phones are incredible...kind of like my birthday. Its not even over yet.

holiday. day 3 and 4.

1. I woke up at 7 am on December 23rd to visit my pal, Leksi. Of course, she wasn't awake...who would be on a vacation day? So, I tooled around Oak Park, walked the dogs, drank way too much coffee, and waited for the hours to pass. Which they did quickly. Before I knew it I was at Leksi's house drinking more coffee. She told me she had a surprise and we walked onto her roof. Leksi had urban chickens! I was excited. My favorite chicken was the grey, fluffy headed lady. But Ol' fluffy-head chicken had a spinal deformity and couldn't lay eggs. Even though she was completely useless as a chicken she was good for a laugh. What a ridiculous animal. And a lucky one. Leksi and I went to eat at Lula cafe (delicious) and once we were done it was time to get home and get ready for my mother's party.
2. (Friday) At 7pm my mother celebrated her 60th birthday at Fitzgerald's in Berwyn, Illinois. Fitzgeralds is a well established music joint/bar and the band American English was playing. We got to the place at 7:45...whoops, fashionably late. 50 of my mother's closest friends were there by 8:15. I barely had time to talk with mom because she was so sought after socially. This didn't bother me, I had three of my closest friends to hang out with that night. Virginia, Ali, and Juice...not to mention Dean, Kate, Nick, Vince, all my brothers (cept' paul who isn't 21), my step mom, neighbors, and the list goes on. We drank, danced, smoked (in the COLD, Cold outdoors. I should quit smoking), and chatted the night away. American English had three set changes, each with a costume change, and they did a damn fine job. Eventually, I asked Virginia, Vince, Nick, Ali, and juice if they were hungry. It was midnight and we went on a munchy run to Wendy's then left the party and chilled at my mom's. I couldn't have asked for a better visit with my closest friends and family. Hell, I actually felt festive.
3. (Saturday) Something that is not so cool? Waking up at 8 am when you went to bed at 3am. I am no longer 18 and that is no longer "fun". But I did it. My brothers (all strapping and shown above) and I went to Rush Street to visit my dad and his wife, Cheryl. And although the Weber Grill overcooked three of the five ordered steaks, I didn't let it ruin my time. I was with my brothers. Who can be pissed when they're around?

Overall, an amazing holiday. I saw all of my closest friends and family, I got to see my dogs, the city, Dekalb. I was able to have an honest to goodness balls to the walls road trip. i couldn't have asked for a better holiday.

Holiday. day 1 and 2.

I hit the road for the holidays and had a lot to get done in a short amount of time. But, damn it, I did it and I'm damn proud of myself. My hectic day began on the 21st at 5am in Iowa. Although I was ready to leave at 5am I still had to work until 11am. So, I printed t-shirts and stared at the clock too much, I was close to insane by lunch time. 11am eventually showed up and I hit the ground running...red bull, coffee, red bull, coffee, change lanes, change highways, more coffee.

I sailed into Dekalb, Illinois on an insane caffeine high at 4pm. Ann and her fiance were house hunting so I had a couple of hours to kill in the "big" city. Its amazing, I used to hate Dekalb but after I went country feral it seemed a lot bigger and a lot more wonderful. I shopped and bought locally, take that economy. Ann was done house shopping by 5:30 and we went to stuff ourselves with Miller Light and chicken wings at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Soon it was time for ol' jane to meet a couple of collegiate chums at my favorite dive bar, the Annex. It was good to see those jerks (tim and ryan), I got some art out of the deal and an underemployed gentleman tried to sell me slightly irregular women's shoes in the alley. Good times.

12 am rolled around, I had been up since 5am and I was damn tired. Lucky for me, Ann was willing to open the doors to her home and the seat of her couch to me. I finally fell asleep at 2am. Damn Red Bull.
I left Dekalb on the morning of the 22nd and made it to Chicago by noon. I came home to an empty home. At first, I was pissed. No one's home...its Christmas time and I'm by myself. My self pity ended when I realized that my mother works. I am dumb. So, I occupied my time by staring at my cat while he drank out of various sinks in the house. Entertaining? A little.

Shortly after, my brother and I got into a fun lil' Christmas fight over cigarettes but shook hands when the fight ended...this made my mother so proud she bought us steaks and beer at the Avenue Ale House in Oak Park (my home town). Full of steak and slightly intoxicated, my mother drove us home in her new Prius and I crashed on her couch like a wet slug and watched tv into the wee hours of the morning.

Day 3: Coming tomorrow.

wow, another fantastic trip to Des Moines.

Des Moines is never a bad time. When you live in a rural area you learn to appreciate all those things you took for granted. . . Like bars that make drinks in Tiki cups. This is a photo at the bar in Fong's pizza. One day I will drink out of this monkey's head. Jeez, it seems like everything I think/talk about is Fong's pizza. I love that place. This time we had the Thai Chicken pizza. It came with cilantro and peanut sauce. Delicious.
Nice little addition to the sign, skateboarders. Good work. Now all the roller-blader folk are going to be offended/hurt.

Wall DRAGON has captured my imagination. I've been thinking about dragons a lot, I don't only think about Fong's pizza. Too bad the wall dragon bar wasn't open, I would have enjoyed sitting with a tiki drink under the beast. That damn place is never open.

vacation cigar!

There is etiquette for every indulgence. To TRUELY understand etiquette it is important to do the wrong thing as often as possible until an aficionado grows tired of you and corrects your incorrect behavior.

I smoked a lot of cigars on the trip. I thought the cigar brand belts were awesome. They were super ornate and should be turned into beautiful gold jewelery. So, I kept the belts on while I smoked the cigar. This is a faux pas. In the cigar smoker's world its considered rude to keep that brand on your cigar, you're supposed to take it off after the cigar has been lit.

This is a great site where you can learn how to be a jerk the right way.

http://www.cigartrends.com/etiquette.php

hotels.

We got super drunk in Lawrence, Kansas. I'm a semi-responsible drunk and figured it wasn't a good idea to drive my beat-ass Honda around town. The closest hotel was called the Eldridge. Here's the fancy website

http://www.eldridgehotel.com/.

It was pretty awesome even though I spent most of the night throwing up into a really nice toilet. When we stayed in Missouri we were frugal. I even got to do my hotel trick! Here it is...



1. Cheap hotels usually have cheap, framed art to hide stains. Try taking the art off the wall. If the
frame comes off the wall...you're in business.


2. Using a common Sharpie, make a fantastic drawing. I made a triceratops.

3. Place the frame back on the wall. You've made a SECRET masterpiece.

I do this at almost every hotel I stay at but not the Eldridge, that place was fancy enough to know that people like me do shit like this...their frames were screwed onto their immaculatly whitewalls.

Going to Kansas.

Old girl, Honda, hit her 200,000 mile mark a few weeks ago. I was on my way to Peoria. Today, she'll have a new milestone in her car-life. She's about to go to Kansas! Time to get an oil change!

I've never been to Kansas. I was in Kansas City, Missouri (good barbecue?)...I could have easily scooted over to Kansas and said,

"Hey, Kansas." quickly followed by,

"See ya, Kansas!"

In short, I'm excited about checking another item off my bucket list. Morgan Freeman would be proud. And did anyone else notice how fuckin' dusty my car is? This photograph is embarrassing.

Lake Red Rock. Near Knoxville, Iowa.

Rhyming with otters.
The Hungry Bear, in Burlington (IA), wins the award for best signage font. Check out that "y", the serif is a bear head.

highlights from my Iowa City trip.

1. the creepy place where I bought coffee.

2. A lake Arius and I visited. it's 11 miles away from Iowa City. There were a lot of fossils. (http://www.elvikis.com/)

3. The disection of an owl pellet on a pizza box.

4. Deadwood or George's in Iowa City. Mustard Sucks.

5. A catbird. They make the most horrible noises, google that shit. You'll laugh.

Down Low and in the Garden...my weekend in Dekalb.

When you live in the middle of nowhere and visit the middle of somewhere it is an eye-opening vacation. I used to compare DeKalb to Chicago...I'd complain,

"DeKalb doesn't have any good food, art supplies, or record stores...wah, wah, waaaaaah."

Man was I spoiled. Because DeKalb has good food. Pita Pete's on Lucinda is delicious and I ate there two times in a twenty-four hour period because i KNOW there is no fallafel or hummus in Eldon, Iowa. DeKalb also has good art supplies. The school book store had all the paper, gouache, brushes, inks, erasers, and various pencils a girl could shake a stick at and I went to the art store two times because i KNOW there is no place in Eldon, Iowa to get gouache and 300 lb watercolor paper. DeKalb still doesn't have a brag-worthy record store but, luckily, Barnes and Nobles had the record i wanted. The Monsters of Folk rock and it's a damn fine record. Not to sound repetitive... I bought it because i KNOW that there is no place in Eldon, Iowa to buy a good album. I bought a lot of things this weekend.

There were also a lot of good friends, art and fun in DeKalb. My buddies (ann flowers, joanna goss, adam cox and Christian campos) and i finally put our work together to create the show, "Down Low and in the Garden." Even though it was rainy people showed up to have some fun, drink PBR, and sell hotdogs to fundraise. I talked so much that evening my voice started to go out...i sounded silly but didn't care and talked anyone's ear off that would let me. We went to the Annex (bar) and stayed till two a.m. which was nice. Then i slept in ann flower's bed without ann flowers in the bed with me. Unrequited. sigh.

The next day I ate, drank, and was merry. Sushi, icecream, pita petes, books, glitter. I even spent the night in a hotel that reeked of incense and my pals came over to be merry as well. This weekend filled me with joy.

how i learned to love a cow.

My love affair with the cow began in Canada when I met this happy little fellow. I had never seen a baby cow up close and personal until this very moment in 2005. It was at a winery that specialized in Ice Wines...ice wine is made from grapes that are allowed to freeze on the vine. The wine is very sweet and thick and, in my opinion, disgusting. The winery also specialized in petting zoos and had a variety of furry headed chickens, fly covered pigs, and a couple of scabby eared goats.

This baby cow said, "maaaaaaaa mooooooooo," and I was in love. I ran over to the calf and pet it's chin. The calf stretched out it's neck, I pretended to kiss it's face, and then this photograph was taken by one of my shit-head friends. Then we ate some sandwiches, fed a cat some potato chips, bought some shitty wine, and went on our merry way to Toronto.

mule deer.

These are the mule deer does that Rish and I spooked In Idaho. As a midwesterner, I'd never seen this many deer in a group before. Whitetail tend to be more solitary and that's what we have in Illinois and Iowa. Muledeer are a western animal and the females hang out in large groups. Am I boring you?

elk

I love traveling. I love seeing the animals hang out by the side of the road. These photographs of Elk were taken by Rishika "Rizzle" Murthy. She is very talented and I'm going to showcase the photographs she took while we traveled across the country last Spring.

Goodbye Dekalb. A Land of Corn. Our Patron Saint of Barbed wire.

Seth and I are in the process of moving out of our apartment. We are moving to Iowa. I've lived in DeKalb for three years. I've lived in this wonderful apartment for two wonderful years. This apartment has been my studio and my refuge. Its been my personal gallery, I'm the curator. My showcase piece being the Mallard Duck flying majestically in the center of a blue sky. I bought it off the wall at Sterling Family Restraunt. Tangent, back on track...

Life in DeKalb wasn't always sweet for me. I used to live in a boarding house bedroom with a bathroom I shared with a young lady who was very fond of Narnia. I shared the kitchen with a wall-eyed serial killer (I assume) who cooked beans in the microwave at 6pm everyday. I walked the boarding house halls with a man that had hands attatched to his shoulders. It was a strange place. Lots of kitchen fires.

Then I got my sweet apartment, I traveled to Utah to collect bones. I went to Graduate school and finally got good at painting (see www.janeryder.com). I got to work with great artists, professors and colleagues. I played in the lagoon, drank at the annex...and now I have to go.

Is this deer sad looking? Oh deer. I'm going to miss DeKalb.