rik-rat corn pile

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

dodging furry bullets.

Its getting scarier, friends. Every morning i wake up, hop into my mud covered Honda and drive down my dirty, dirty, dirt covered road. It is always pitch black at 5:30am and the stars are still twinkling. Most people I know would my call my mornings beautiful or serene, lovely and quaint, or even pretty as a picture. But I know better, it may be beautiful and lovely but it is dangerous out there. I don't know why it's happening but every possum in Iowa wants me to hit them with my car. They are nature's buffoons. I've had three little idiots try to walk into my speeding car since the last time i actually pegged one...yuck. I don't want to kill you, animals, stay away from my car. All of you marsupials, rodents, raccoons, and even-toed ungulates (deer) (which i almost hit today) (it was a big ten point buck) just stay away from my car. That's all i ask.

Every night possums haunt our backyard. We have at least four living under the porch. All night long they will clank through my cans, eat my garbage, woo my pregnant cat, and cause general disarray. Some might say,

"Jane, why don't you just throw away your garbage? Then the possums won't come over all the time."

and to them I say, we have no garbage pickup where I live. We have to burn all the paper waste and drive the rest of the trash to the dump...so garbage is on the back burner for awhile. I have better things to do and the garbage will continue to sit behind the cellar door where only the tiniest of possums can get into the stinky bags...the little ones aren't thaaat messy. And, to tell you the truth, I like being able to look out my bedroom window and see a clumsy possum knocking my stuff over. They remind me of me...loud, uncoordinated, messy, and opportunistic. I see myself in those little creatures... so they can live under my porch and eat my garbage, I don't care. At least if they're under my porch it'll be harder to hit them with my car.


  1. oh jane you silly goose.

    when i drove my yellow beetle i thought all butterflies were attracted to my car because they seemed to always dive right at my bumper. it really upset. i was such a hippy.

  2. that is a really hippy feeling you had...hitting butterflies in a beetle and feeling bad about "mother earth." we so crazy.