rik-rat corn pile

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

holiday. day 3 and 4.

1. I woke up at 7 am on December 23rd to visit my pal, Leksi. Of course, she wasn't awake...who would be on a vacation day? So, I tooled around Oak Park, walked the dogs, drank way too much coffee, and waited for the hours to pass. Which they did quickly. Before I knew it I was at Leksi's house drinking more coffee. She told me she had a surprise and we walked onto her roof. Leksi had urban chickens! I was excited. My favorite chicken was the grey, fluffy headed lady. But Ol' fluffy-head chicken had a spinal deformity and couldn't lay eggs. Even though she was completely useless as a chicken she was good for a laugh. What a ridiculous animal. And a lucky one. Leksi and I went to eat at Lula cafe (delicious) and once we were done it was time to get home and get ready for my mother's party.
2. (Friday) At 7pm my mother celebrated her 60th birthday at Fitzgerald's in Berwyn, Illinois. Fitzgeralds is a well established music joint/bar and the band American English was playing. We got to the place at 7:45...whoops, fashionably late. 50 of my mother's closest friends were there by 8:15. I barely had time to talk with mom because she was so sought after socially. This didn't bother me, I had three of my closest friends to hang out with that night. Virginia, Ali, and Juice...not to mention Dean, Kate, Nick, Vince, all my brothers (cept' paul who isn't 21), my step mom, neighbors, and the list goes on. We drank, danced, smoked (in the COLD, Cold outdoors. I should quit smoking), and chatted the night away. American English had three set changes, each with a costume change, and they did a damn fine job. Eventually, I asked Virginia, Vince, Nick, Ali, and juice if they were hungry. It was midnight and we went on a munchy run to Wendy's then left the party and chilled at my mom's. I couldn't have asked for a better visit with my closest friends and family. Hell, I actually felt festive.

3. (Saturday) Something that is not so cool? Waking up at 8 am when you went to bed at 3am. I am no longer 18 and that is no longer "fun". But I did it. My brothers (all strapping and shown above) and I went to Rush Street to visit my dad and his wife, Cheryl. And although the Weber Grill overcooked three of the five ordered steaks, I didn't let it ruin my time. I was with my brothers. Who can be pissed when they're around?

Overall, an amazing holiday. I saw all of my closest friends and family, I got to see my dogs, the city, Dekalb. I was able to have an honest to goodness balls to the walls road trip. i couldn't have asked for a better holiday.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Holiday. day 1 and 2.

I hit the road for the holidays and had a lot to get done in a short amount of time. But, damn it, I did it and I'm damn proud of myself. My hectic day began on the 21st at 5am in Iowa. Although I was ready to leave at 5am I still had to work until 11am. So, I printed t-shirts and stared at the clock too much, I was close to insane by lunch time. 11am eventually showed up and I hit the ground running...red bull, coffee, red bull, coffee, change lanes, change highways, more coffee.

I sailed into Dekalb, Illinois on an insane caffeine high at 4pm. Ann and her fiance were house hunting so I had a couple of hours to kill in the "big" city. Its amazing, I used to hate Dekalb but after I went country feral it seemed a lot bigger and a lot more wonderful. I shopped and bought locally, take that economy. Ann was done house shopping by 5:30 and we went to stuff ourselves with Miller Light and chicken wings at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Soon it was time for ol' jane to meet a couple of collegiate chums at my favorite dive bar, the Annex. It was good to see those jerks (tim and ryan), I got some art out of the deal and an underemployed gentleman tried to sell me slightly irregular women's shoes in the alley. Good times.

12 am rolled around, I had been up since 5am and I was damn tired. Lucky for me, Ann was willing to open the doors to her home and the seat of her couch to me. I finally fell asleep at 2am. Damn Red Bull.
I left Dekalb on the morning of the 22nd and made it to Chicago by noon. I came home to an empty home. At first, I was pissed. No one's home...its Christmas time and I'm by myself. My self pity ended when I realized that my mother works. I am dumb. So, I occupied my time by staring at my cat while he drank out of various sinks in the house. Entertaining? A little.

Shortly after, my brother and I got into a fun lil' Christmas fight over cigarettes but shook hands when the fight ended...this made my mother so proud she bought us steaks and beer at the Avenue Ale House in Oak Park (my home town). Full of steak and slightly intoxicated, my mother drove us home in her new Prius and I crashed on her couch like a wet slug and watched tv into the wee hours of the morning.

Day 3: Coming tomorrow.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

why, hello!

I walked through some trees, I looked up, I found this little man.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

lots and lots of sea glass.

1. Sea glass. Collected from Lake Michigan over the course of 4 years.
2. Sea glass that has been bound together with deer sinew.
3. Polished Creek Rocks from Wyoming.
4. Lead Bullet. or slug. Whatever you want to call it.

One day I will be old and surrounded by a lot of stuff I've found on the ground.

Monday, December 12, 2011

photos from the drive home.

1. Its best to treat every day like a road trip. What's the point of driving if you can't pull over ever time something peaks your interest? I was on 34 West when I noticed a large animal eating grass behind barbed wire. It wasn't a cow and it wasn't a horse...it was an ELK! I love elk farms. Elk taste delicious...I pulled off the highway, found the access road, and had a photo shoot with these beautiful cow elk. The owners of the farm saw me, they gave me several dirty looks.
2. I've always wanted a tacky, cement, lawn ornament. Seriously, since I was a kid. I found these beauties in Fairfield, Iowa. I'm going back and buying them this Spring.
3. It was very cold. The stream from this factory billowed like a cumulonimbus cloud on a breezy day. I thought it was so beautiful I put my life in danger and snapped a few shots while driving a cool 70 mph. There were no other cars near me so I'd like to think the only life that was in danger was my own.

Friday, December 2, 2011

happy friday!

Drawing faces on an unsuspecting taproot. This should put anyone in a good mood.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Horrible Taxidermy. HORRIBLE!

1. this weasel is not an albino. Its sun-bleached, horrifying and is possibly the worst taxidermy mount I've ever seen.

Customer: "Hello, good sir. I've procured a weasel this week and would like it preserved as a taxidermy mount. Can you make any suggestions on a lifelike scene?"

taxidermist: " Most weasels are in logs. I'll just cut it in half and shove it into a log hole."

Seriously, the weasel is cut in half and shoved into a log hole. Its the worst thing I've ever seen.
2. This was in the store's window display. They put it in the window display!

Shop owner: "how can we encourage customers to buy our taxidermy, friend?"

Friend: " Stick a rotting muskrat corpse in the window display. People go batshit for that stuff."